Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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