Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
