He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
