did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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