you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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