Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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