I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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