Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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