Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
