he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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