I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
