Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
