Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize