I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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