so explain again why im purple
no
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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