Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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