they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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