Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
