just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
