They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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