I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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