its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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