I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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