yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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