Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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