like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
