Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
