Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
worst night to have a conscience
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
