You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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