her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize