I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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