it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
