So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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