The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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