sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
