I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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