Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
