Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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