Fuck appropriateness.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
