And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
