We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
