What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
