I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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