And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
