Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
