she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
