Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
