Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
