hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
