I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
