I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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