I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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