I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
