I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
