508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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