Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
