Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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