Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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