so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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