We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
