The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
