you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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