Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
