I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
